Tuesday, October 13, 2009
So I finally got the Complaint Call from Crazy, in which she explained how rude she thought we all were, leaving her behind repeatedly on Historical Street and how she "genuinely just wanted to show [us] the stores", and here I was biting her head off. I said the reason I bit her head off when I came back to fetch her at Historical Sweets was for this reason right here: that I knew, at that moment, she would call within the week and lay me out about "walking too fast" and "leaving her behind" and "being rude" and "all she wanted to do was be allowed to shop like everyone else", rather than what she was really doing, which was dragging her feet to make herself look pathetic and have us all running around after her like baby ducks, wondering what would please her to do next, until she declared that she was done shopping and then we'd all be allowed to leave. Because that is exactly what happens every other time.
She of course hates it when I call her on things and blew up, asking how I could possibly assume such a horrible thing, to which I replied that I wasn't new. She then claimed we can all improve our behavior and get along without having to cut off trips entirely, which she rightly guessed I was *thisclose* to doing. All my assertions that we'd been informed she would be catching up to us any moment, by her, somehow were invalidated immediately and the 'misunderstanding' blamed on Beleagured Dad.
Then she sat in silence, waiting for my apology. She's still waiting.
I suppose what I should be thankful for is that she only took 3 days to spin that crap into gold. Heaven only knows what she would have made it sound like if she'd taken til the weekend to work on it. It would probably have been the solution to the country's economic problems and I, being the evil hag that I am, have now dashed it in twain, leaving the country to founder in recession, or something equally dramatic involving Jesus.
Well, we were finally at the end of Very Long Historical Street, with gelato, and had to walk all the way back, only for her to exclaim about the wonders of this store and act like she'd never been there. Hello? We're natives. We've been there.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
C: Well, I just thought I'd check in... (tone suggests I should have already called) How much longer did you stay after I left?
Me: Um, not much longer since you stayed until after the inspectors left.
C: Oh! But I saw them give you key!
Me: That's the realtor's key. I locked it up in the box.
C: But you don't get a key?!?!?!
Me: We haven't paid for the house yet, Mom.
Me: ...so we ran to the store, then talked to his dad about the results on Skype.
C: *clearly jealous tone* OH?! And when did they get a phone on their computer?!
Me: Um, a few months ago? So we can talk to them?
(I'm still confused about that one, seeing as how, we see my parents all the time.)
C: So, you mentioned his parents might visit for Christmas?
Me: Yes, they may, but we don't know.
C: But....... How is that FAIR?!
C: You saw them LAST Christmas! And you're going up for Thanksgiving!
Me: We're going up before Thanksgiving and we'll be here for Christmas. They'll be alone on Christmas.
C: But that would only be fair if you didn't see them at ALL last Christmas. And now they'll see you again!!
Me: I thought the point was that WE would be HERE vs. us being there.
C: Well, if you don't care, nobody will care. You're making me sound like a 15 year old!
Me: You do sound like a 15 year old. His parents can visit us if they want.
C: But we won't get to see you alone! They will be involved in everything!
Me: Why does that matter?
C: IT'S NOT FAIR!!!
Me: I have to go. *click*
Crazy was thrilled and got there very early to see the house alone, chatting up even our incredibly verbose realtor and inspector, and pretty much never shut up the entire time. I walked in, the inspector was introducing himself, and Crazy walks right up, grabs me, and says, "Show me the walk-in pantry. Now." She had just looked at it herself. It was empty. It's an empty closet. What is there to show?
The whole time was like that. "Come here. Look at this. Look at that. Walk over here. Show me this. You know what you need to do... What you should do... You know what you MUST do..."
Here was the best suggestion: "You really have to get another stove. I mean, everyone who cooks wishes they had 2 stoves. You could put it RIGHT HERE. Just take out this cabinet."
I was like, "Yet again, totally NOT a priority. As soon as we shell out all of our cash for a down payment, the closing, the floor, a washer drier, blinds, paint, caulk, CHRISTMAS, etc. etc. etc...."Give me a break. She kept saying they should leave and let us finish up, and yet they didn't walk out the door until after the inspectors left. I could barely get a word in edgewise with the inspector thanks to her.
Friday, September 18, 2009
My news + (Her random thoughts about Janet Jackson, the news, Pilates chairs, Home Shopping, church drama, etc. = minutes spent telling her my news x 50 billion) = EVERY CONVERSATION
I even stop responding! It doesn't stop her! She keeps talking!
Last conversation, I timed it. 1 minutes 32 seconds relating the results of our offer being accepted, 24 minutes of her random thoughts including 8 minutes of my not actually responding in any way.